That's What SHE Said!

"That's What SHE Said" jokes were made popular by NBC's The Office. Simply read the entries below, then say "That's What SHE Said!"

My Mom said:
Instead of playing with it I can just finger it.
My Friend said:
"I could eat sausage all day!"
My Mom said:
Im just beating some meat
My Professor said:
That one was longer, and it sucked.
My Friend said:
I almost passed out it's so tiqht in there
My Self said:
"I love that you can just whip it out of your pocket whenever you need it and it's always on you"
My Boss said:
I work quite well with wood
My Self said:
Sphygmomanometer. That's a mouthful.
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The Office, Michael Scott